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Why Partners Fall Out Of Love

Relationship

Love is that one sense developed by a human that makes all other senses stop working and we mean it in a good way. Suddenly you have a world of your own that make you feel loved, accepted, invincible and immensely happy all together. Seeing their face just lighten up your day and being assured by the fact that they are yours gives a purpose to your whole existence. What a beautiful experience it is to fall in love with someone and you swear by not leaving this person for anything at any cost. Yet, as time passes on you experience a sudden change in behaviour for either your side or theirs and now dates become just awkward and you daydream of leaving them or worst; you are at the receiving end of this coldness.

 

Now the question is why this happens, what are some telltale signs to know if your partner is not interested in you, and most importantly how to deal with such a situation? As relationships are not always hunky-dory let’s examine the dark aspect of being together.

 

Why do people fall out of love?

 

The way humans are created is the number one reason people fall out of love. We want incentives, guarantees, and affection, which is why, even if the relationship appears to be great, one of the partners wishes to leave. If the couple can reconcile, though, they will fall back even harder. However, characteristics such as being difficult to play, being emotionally high maintenance, and failing to try to repair the relationship cause you to fall out of love. The funny thing is that you don't feel emptiness, yet it wreaks havoc on your mind. The cycle of falling in and out of love is as cyclical as the ocean tides. The issue usually occurs when someone abandons a ship at the first hint of falling out of love.

 

Reasons people fall out of love

 

      Choosing to search for happiness outside

 

Susan Heitler, PhD's essay and quiz on PyshcologyToday.com advises readers to search for warning signals that a relationship is heading south. Heitler believes that couples fall out of love when a developing breach between them compels them to re-invest their energy outside of the partnership rather than re-focus their attention on reviving interest in their connection. Despite the divide, Heitler thinks that relationships may be repaired and that "growing apart is not a relationship's death sentence."

      You don’t feel appreciated

 

People fall out of love for a variety of reasons, one of which is a lack of appreciation, respect, or worth in their relationship. It might be difficult to feel really loved if your spouse no longer appreciates you, expresses thanks, or simply acknowledges your successes or efforts. And if you feel taken for granted, continuously degraded, or even disposable in your relationship, your love for your spouse may suffer. When this individual treats you badly, his or her words and actions might cause you to resent him or her. And the wonderful sensations you once had might vanish if you no longer feel significant, appreciated, or even sincerely loved by your spouse.

 

      Lack of understanding

 

Tina B. Tessina (PhD), a licensed marital and family therapist, has a lot to say about couples who are growing out of romance. In her work, she encounters a lot of couples who claim to love their spouse but are no longer in love with them. Tessina highlights couples who don't understand what a partnership is or how to conduct themselves in one as one of her top three reasons why. "Couples who grow competitive and dispute over who's right or wrong might damage the love they had for one other," she continues. The goal of a partnership is to work together to solve an issue."

 

      Lack of passion

 

Andrew G. Marshall, a UK-based marital therapist and author of "I Love You But I'm Not in Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship," appears to believe that falling out of love with your partner does not have to mean the end of your relationship, as long as both parties are willing to put in the effort to rekindle that spark. But, according to Marshall, what causes so many couples to reach their breaking point in the first place? Marshall constantly returns to the topic of intimacy loss, in which spouses grow increasingly proficient at giving basic companionship to one another while losing the passion that drew them together in the first place.

 

 

What goes in your brain while falling out of love

 

As featured in Bustle, Dr Catherine Franssen, PhD, professor of psychology and head of neuro studies at Longwood University, explains that "falling out of love isn't as simple as switching a switch in the brain." "It's a process of losing habits and connections, alterations in hormones and neurotransmitters, and behavioural changes."

 

When spending time with your lover ceases to be pleasurable, the reward centres of the brain that release dopamine and create pleasure become deactivated. Franssen claims that this forces your brain to reorganise, and you will no longer regard your relationship as a source of happiness.

 

Dr Catherine Franssen, PhD, professor of psychology and head of neuro studies at Longwood University, explains that "falling out of love isn't as simple as switching a switch in the brain." "It's a process of losing habits and connections, alterations in hormones and neurotransmitters, and behavioural changes."

 

When spending time with your lover ceases to be pleasurable, the reward centres of the brain that release dopamine and create pleasure become deactivated. Franssen claims that this forces your brain to reorganise, and you will no longer regard your relationship as a source of happiness.

 

 

Signs of falling out of love

 

      They start picking fights over small things

 

If you and your spouse are good communicators, your partner will most likely tell you if they need some alone time. However, if they are concerned, they may turn to initiate small arguments to try to push you away.

 

      They have stopped arguing

 

Instead of picking conflicts, your partner may stop arguing altogether or find methods to avoid difficult conversations, according to Southall, either because they don't have any emotional energy left to invest or simply because they don't want to.

 

      You don’t want to be associated with them

 

If you notice that is linked with your spouse makes you feel more embarrassed or ashamed, your mind has already checked out of the relationship. You're not proud to be with them if you don't think, "That's my boyfriend/girlfriend!" and instead think, "Uhhh, sure that's my boyfriend/girlfriend..."

 

      You constantly compare them with others

 

Is this a solid indicator you're losing interest in your partner? Relationship expert Rachel DeAlto, who starred on TLC's Married at First Sight, adds, "You find yourself comparing them to every potential you could have if you weren't with them." "You start to think that any relationship could be better than your current one."

 

      They stay late at work more often

 

Although it's understandable if your partner suddenly wants to stay late at work, don't jump to any conclusions. "To getaway, your partner may remain away longer, work late, or perform useless errands," Dr Tessina explains. It's fine if they do it every now and again. If it becomes a habit, talk to your partner about it and devise a better strategy to guarantee that both of your needs are addressed in the future.

 

What to do when you experience the major fallout from love

 

As stated earlier, falling out of love is a natural process and it requires constant mending to make the relationship work forever. Hence if you really want to work on your relationship mentioned below are certain points you can consider for saving your relationship. You can also check what you have to do if your partner is falling out of love with you in another article by WellEQ.

 

      Support your partner’s individual interests

 

Both parties regard themselves as separate in the early stages of a relationship, so they keep the pieces of who they are that make them feel like independently fulfilled persons. These attributes are frequently what drew your partner to you and drew you to your relationship in the first place. Don't ever forget how it felt to be your own person; cherish the unique qualities of who you are, and show your spouse the same care, respect, and interest.

 

      Take responsibility

 

Take a time to identify your personal blind spots as well as the problematic factors that contributed to your relationship's demise. While it's easy to get caught up in what our partner did—or, most likely, didn't do—we must concentrate on the part of the issue that we have control over ourselves and what we brought to the connection.

 

      Embrace kindness

 

Kindness, as simple as it may appear, is the secret to staying in love. According to research, conducting more loving actions makes you feel more in love. Try to be kind in how you express yourself in any relationship with your partner, whether it's personal or practical. Even in heated circumstances, this softens your spouse.

 

      Recall what you love about your partner

 

Consider what you like and admire about your mate. What characteristics do you admire or find amusing? If you like how adventurous they are, keep sharing new activities with them. Be playful in your communication if you love their sense of humour. If you cherish their warmth and affection, make an effort to connect with them on a daily basis rather than getting distracted by other things.

 

We hope these tips have helped you in figuring out what you precisely need to do if you are falling out of love. For finding ease in complicated situations like such, do follow WellEQ, a holistic wellbeing platform.

Relationship